Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday September 16, 2015

I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went...
I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway. I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving. I was pulled over for speeding...

I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having...
I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy argument about what I considered an Odd number. -- Steven Wright