Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday September 7, 2015

Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual...
Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence ... -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

A lady, while dining in Crewe, Found an elephant's whang in...
A lady, while dining in Crewe, Found an elephant's whang in her stew. Said the waiter, "Don't shout Or wave it about Or the others will ask for one, too."

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...