Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday February 20, 2016

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

You are scrupulously honest, frank,...
You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward. Therefore you have few friends.

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

No group of professionals meets except to conspire against...
No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large. -- Mark Twain

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose...
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. -- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings.
Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings.

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember,...
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit. -- R.E. Shay

Expansion means complexity; and complexity decay.
Expansion means complexity; and complexity decay.