Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday February 23, 2016

Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is? A: ...
Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is? A: One per person.

I/O, I/O, It's off to disk I go, A bit or byte to read...
I/O, I/O, It's off to disk I go, A bit or byte to read or write, I/O, I/O, I/O...

IRONY: A windy day, when, just as a beautiful girl...
IRONY: A windy day, when, just as a beautiful girl with a short skirt approaches, dust blows in your eyes.

With YOU, I can be MYSELF ... We don't NEED Dan Rather ...
With YOU, I can be MYSELF ... We don't NEED Dan Rather ...

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up...
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit? A: Unique up on it! Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit? A: The tame way!

Q: How do you play religious roulette? A: You stand...
Q: How do you play religious roulette? A: You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck by lightning first.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, Bright blue his jacket is,...
Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow. None has ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master: His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster. -- J. R. R. Tolkien