Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday February 24, 2016

A diplomat is man who always remembers a woman's birthday...
A diplomat is man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age. -- Robert Frost

A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect...
A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?"

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific, Fain how I pause...
Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific, Fain how I pause at your nature specific, Loftily poised in the ether capacious, Highly resembling a gem carbonaceous. Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific, Fain how I pause at your nature specific.