Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday February 19, 2016

A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room...
A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room. They argued all night Over who had the right To do what, with which, and to whom.

A seafaring hacker named Slatey Went to bed with a VAX/780...
A seafaring hacker named Slatey Went to bed with a VAX/780. The thing's learned to swear With a nautical air, And refers to its users as "matey".

There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Screwing...
There was a young gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Screwing is one thing I do know. A woman is fine, And a sheep is divine, But a llama is Numero Uno."

There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to...
There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young man of Khartoum Who lured a poor girl to...
There was a young man of Khartoum Who lured a poor girl to her doom. He not only fucked her, But buggered and sucked her-- And left her to pay for the room.

Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind...
Ladles and Jellyspoons! I come before you to stand behind you, To tell you something I know nothing about. Since next Thursday will be Good Friday, There will be a fathers' meeting, for mothers only. Wear your best clothes, if you don't have any,...

The boy stood on the burning deck, Eating peanuts by...
The boy stood on the burning deck, Eating peanuts by the peck. His father called him, but he could not go, For he loved those peanuts so.

That's life. What's life? A magazine. How much does...
That's life. What's life? A magazine. How much does it cost? Two-fifty. I only have a dollar. That's life.