Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday December 25, 2019

Kinkler's First Law: Responsibility always exceeds...
Kinkler's First Law: Responsibility always exceeds authority. Kinkler's Second Law: All the easy problems have been solved.

Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase...
Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.

There once was a plumber from Leigh Who was plumbing his maid...
There once was a plumber from Leigh Who was plumbing his maid by the sea. Said she, "Please stop plumbing, I think someone's coming!" Said he, "Yes, I know love, it's me."

There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was...
There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was a terrible meanie, The hatch of her snatch, Had a catch that would latch, She could only be screwed by Houdini.

There was a young lady named Grace Who would not take a prick...
There was a young lady named Grace Who would not take a prick in her "place." Though she'd kiss it and suck it, She never would fuck it-- She just couldn't relax face-to-face.

There was a young monk from Siberia Whose life got drearia'...
There was a young monk from Siberia Whose life got drearia' and drearia' Till he did to a nun What shouldn't be done And made her a mother superia'.

When you get what you want in your struggle for self And...
When you get what you want in your struggle for self And the world makes you king for a day, Just go to a mirror and look at yourself And see what that man has to say. For it isn't your father or mother or wife Whose judgement upon...