Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday August 11, 2019

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

There was a young man of Kildare Who was fucking a girl on...
There was a young man of Kildare Who was fucking a girl on the stair. The bannister broke, But he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air.

There was an old count of Swoboda Who would not pay a whore...
There was an old count of Swoboda Who would not pay a whore what he owed her. So, with great savoir-faire, She stood on a chair And pissed in his whiskey-and-soda.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...