Freebsd Fortunes 6

The rules:

1:  Thou shalt not worship other computer systems.
2:  Thou shalt not impersonate Liberace or eat watermelon while sitting at
        the console keyboard.
3:  Thou shalt not slap users on the face, nor staple their silly little
        card decks together.
4:  Thou shalt not get physically involved with the computer system,
        especially if you're already married.
5:  Thou shalt not use magnetic tapes as frisbees, nor use a disk pack as
        a stool to reach another disk pack.
6:  Thou shalt not stare at the blinking lights for more than one 8 hour
        shift.
7:  Thou shalt not tell users that you accidentally destroyed their
        files/backup just to see the look on their little faces.
8:  Thou shalt not enjoy cancelling a job.
9:  Thou shalt not display firearms in the computer room.
10: Thou shalt not push buttons "just to see what happens".

The Russians have put a small ball up in the air.
That does not raise my apprehensions one iota.
                -- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market
award for achievement.  It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal
gesture by the individual to himself.
                -- John Kenneth Galbraith, "Annals of an Abiding Liberal"

The San Diego Freeway.  Official Parking Lot of the 1984 Olympics!

The savior becomes the victim.

The scene: in a vast, painted desert, a cowboy faces his horse.

Cowboy: "Well, you've been a pretty good hoss, I guess.  Hardworkin'.
 Not the fastest critter I ever come acrost, but..."

Horse:  "No, stupid, not feed*back*.  I said I wanted a feed*bag*.

The Schwine-Kitzenger Institute study of 47 men over the age of 100
showed that all had these things in common:

        1) They all had moderate appetites.
        2) They all came from middle class homes.
        3) All but two of them were dead.

The search for the perfect martini is a fraud.  The perfect martini is
a belt of gin from the bottle; anything else is the decadent trappings
of civilization.
                -- T.K.

The second best policy is dishonesty.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics:
        If you think things are in a mess now, just wait!
                -- Jim Warner