Freebsd Fortunes 6

Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
                -- Frank Lloyd Wright

TIPS FOR PERFORMERS:
        Playing cards have the top half upside-down to help cheaters.
        There are a finite number of jokes in the universe.
        Singing is a trick to get people to listen to music longer than
                they would ordinarily.
        There is no music in space.
        People will pay to watch people make sounds.
        Everything on stage should be larger than in real life.

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Tis man's perdition to be safe, when for the truth he ought to die.

'Tis more blessed to give than receive; for example, wedding presents.
                -- H.L. Mencken

To a Californian, a person must prove himself criminally insane before he
is allowed to drive a taxi in New York.  For New York cabbies, honesty and
stopping at red lights are both optional.
                -- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts

To a Californian, all New Yorkers are cold; even in heat they rarely go
above fifty-eight degrees.  If you collapse on a street in New York, plan
to spend a few days there.
                -- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts

To a Californian, the basic difference between the people and the pigeons
in New York is that the pigeons don't shit on each other.
                -- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts

To a New Yorker, all Californians are blond, even the blacks.  There are,
in fact, whole neighborhoods that are zoned only for blond people.  The
only way to tell the difference between California and Sweden is that the
Swedes speak better English."
                -- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts

To a New Yorker, the only California houses on the market for less than
a million dollars are those on fire.  These generally go for six hundred
thousand.
                -- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts