Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday November 13, 2007

It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask...
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. -- Grace Murray Hopper

It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they...
It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great. -- Havelock Ellis

It's better to be quotable than to be honest...
It's better to be quotable than to be honest. -- Tom Stoppard

Lack of money is the root of all evil. --...
Lack of money is the root of all evil. -- George Bernard Shaw

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood...
Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood. -- Louise Beal

Love your neighbour, yet don't pull down your hedge...
Love your neighbour, yet don't pull down your hedge. -- Benjamin Franklin

Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable...
Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable. -- Bergan Evans

Maybe Jesus was right when he said that the meek shall inherit...
Maybe Jesus was right when he said that the meek shall inherit the earth -- but they inherit very small plots, about six feet by three. -- Lazarus Long

Most people can do without the essentials, but not without...
Most people can do without the essentials, but not without the luxuries.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

My philosophy is: Don't think. -- Charles Manson
My philosophy is: Don't think. -- Charles Manson

Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is...
Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all. -- Oscar Wilde

O Lord, grant that we may always be right, for Thou knowest...
O Lord, grant that we may always be right, for Thou knowest we will never change our minds.

Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as virtue...
Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as virtue. -- Ambrose Bierce, on qualifiers

People need good lies. There are too many bad ones...
People need good lies. There are too many bad ones. -- Bokonon, "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way...
People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.

Pretend to spank me -- I'm a pseudo-masochist!
Pretend to spank me -- I'm a pseudo-masochist!