Freebsd Fortunes

Shamus, n. [Yiddish]:
        A shamus is a guy who takes care of handyman tasks around the
temple, and makes sure everything is in working order.
        A shamus is at the bottom of the pecking order of synagog
functionaries, and there's a joke about that:
        A rabbi, to show his humility before God, cries out in the
middle of a service, "Oh, Lord, I am nobody!"  The cantor, not to be
bested, also cries out, "Oh, Lord, I am nobody!"
        The shamus, deeply moved, follows suit and cries, "Oh, Lord, I
am nobody!"  The rabbi turns to the cantor and says, "Look who thinks
he's nobody!"
                -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off
during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
                -- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every
                   Teen Should Know"

Shaw's Principle:
        Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
want to use it.

"She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to."
                -- Gypsy Rose Lee

She is not refined.  She is not unrefined.  She keeps a parrot.
                -- Mark Twain

She liked him; he was a man of many qualities, even if most of them
were bad.

She missed an invaluable opportunity to give him a look that you could
have poured on a waffle ...

"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'.  I said, `That's nothing,
you should hear me play piano.'"
                -- Morrisey

"Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have
taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him.  Such an
excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature."
                -- Samuel Johnson

She's genuinely bogus.