Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday December 10, 2013

There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly...
There once was a fencer named Fisk, Whose speed was incredibly brisk. So fast was his action, The Fitzgerald contraction, Foreshortended his foil to a disk.

There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in...
There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in his cave. She was ugly as shit, And missing one tit, But think of the money he saves.