Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday February 20, 2015

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is...
There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is the story concerning 'em. They lifted the frock And fondled the cock Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em.

There was a young fellow name Tucker Who, instructing a novice...
There was a young fellow name Tucker Who, instructing a novice cock-sucker, Said, "Don't bow out your lips Like an elephant's hips, The boys like it best when they pucker."

There was a young fellow named Ades Whose favorite fruit...
There was a young fellow named Ades Whose favorite fruit was young maids. But sheep, nigger boys, whores, And the knot holes in doors Were by no means exempt from his raids.

There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning...
There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning to screw, But he hadn't the knack, And he got too far back -- In the right church, but in the wrong pew.