Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday February 9, 2015

May those that love us love us; and those that don't love us,...
May those that love us love us; and those that don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping.

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple...
There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple and died. While her lover lamented The apple fermented And made cider inside her inside.

There was a young lady named Brook Who never could learn how...
There was a young lady named Brook Who never could learn how to cook. But on a divan She could please any man- She knew every darn trick in the book!

My haircut is totally traditional!
My haircut is totally traditional!