Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Thursday July 2, 2015

If he once again pushes up his sleeves in order to compute...
If he once again pushes up his sleeves in order to compute for 3 days and 3 nights in a row, he will spend a quarter of an hour before to think which principles of computation shall be most appropriate. -- Voltaire, "Diatribe...

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There once was a young man from Yuma, Who told an elephant joke...
There once was a young man from Yuma, Who told an elephant joke to a puma. Now his dry bleached bones lie, Under hot Asian skies, 'Cause the puma had no sense of huma.

There was a young man from Salinas Who had an extremely long...
There was a young man from Salinas Who had an extremely long penis: Believe it or not, When he lay on his cot It reached from Marin to Martinez.