Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday May 16, 2017

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young man from Seattle Whose testicles tended...
There was a young man from Seattle Whose testicles tended to rattle. He said as he fuck-ed Some stones in a bucket, "If Stravinsky won't deafen you -- that'll."

There was a young man from Siam Who said, "I go in with...
There was a young man from Siam Who said, "I go in with a wham, But I soon lose my starch Like the mad month of March, And the lion comes out like a lamb."

There was a young man from St. Paul's Who read "Harper's...
There was a young man from St. Paul's Who read "Harper's Bazaar" and "McCall's" Till he grew such a passion For feminine fashion That he knitted a snood for his balls.

There was a young man from Tibet- And this is the strangest...
There was a young man from Tibet- And this is the strangest one yet- Whose tool was so long, So pointed and strong, He could bugger six Greeks "en brochette".

... proper attention to Earthly needs of the poor,...
... proper attention to Earthly needs of the poor, the depressed and the downtrodden, would naturally evolve from dynamic, articulate, spirited awareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect. -- David Baker,...

Machines have less problems. I'd like to be a machine...
Machines have less problems. I'd like to be a machine. -- Andy Warhol

Nuclear powered vacuuum cleaners will probably be a reality...
Nuclear powered vacuuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years. -- Alex Lewyt (President of the Lewyt Corporation, manufacturers of vacuum cleaners), quoted in The New York Times, June...