Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday May 13, 2017

Alas for the Countess d'Isere, Whose muff wasn't furnished with...
Alas for the Countess d'Isere, Whose muff wasn't furnished with hair. Said the Count, "Quelle surprise!" When he parted her thighs; "Magnifique! Pourtant pas de la guerre."

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.