Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday May 20, 2017

Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple...
Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations.

If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move...
If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.

If you leave the room, you're elected.
If you leave the room, you're elected.

The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by...
The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by the paper clip of the overlying memo and go to file.

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know...
All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility. -- Chuang-tzu