Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday June 1, 2019

There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with...
There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with a fork. He said "When I eat Either fish, foul or flesh, I otherwise finish too quick."

There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed...
There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed in a chalice. 'Twas the common belief It was done for relief, And not out of protestant malice.

There was a young lady named Astor Who never let any get past...
There was a young lady named Astor Who never let any get past her. She finally got plenty By stopping twenty, Which certainly ought to last her.

Once again dread deed is done. Canon sleeps, his all-knowing...
Once again dread deed is done. Canon sleeps, his all-knowing eye shaded to human chance and circumstance. Peace reigns anew o'er Pine Valley, but Canon's sleep is troubled. Beware, scant days past the Ides of July. Impatient hands wait eagerly to grasp,...