Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of February, 2021

There once was a newspaper vendor, A person of dubious gender...
There once was a newspaper vendor, A person of dubious gender. He would charge one-and-two For permission to view His remarkable double pudenda.

There was a young fellow named Paul Who confessed, "I have...
There was a young fellow named Paul Who confessed, "I have only one ball. But the size of my prick Is God's dirtiest trick, For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"

There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed...
There was a young lady named Alice Who was known to have peed in a chalice. 'Twas the common belief It was done for relief, And not out of protestant malice.

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

A woman must be a cute, cuddly, naive little thing -- tender,...
A woman must be a cute, cuddly, naive little thing -- tender, sweet, and stupid. -- Adolf Hitler

A woman of generous character will sacrifice her life...
A woman of generous character will sacrifice her life a thousand times over for her lover, but will break with him for ever over a question of pride -- for the opening or the shutting of a door. -- Stendhal

Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money...
Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money. -- Arthur Miller

A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, ...
A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, But the sweetness of pitch Couldn't put off the hitch Of impotence, size and aroma.

A corpulent maiden named Kroll Had a notion exceedingly droll: ...
A corpulent maiden named Kroll Had a notion exceedingly droll: At a masquerade ball, Dressed in nothing at all, She backed in as a Parker House roll.