Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of December, 2021

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on...
There once was a man from Sandem Who was making his girl on a tandem. At the peak of the make She jammed on the brake And scattered his semen at random.

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When...
I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When there sudden comes a knockin' at the door. And that knocker, he says, "Honey, Roll this rocker out some money, Or your daddy shoots a baddie to the floor." -- Mr. Miggle

A dulcet-voiced callgirl named Shedd, Who's cultured,...
A dulcet-voiced callgirl named Shedd, Who's cultured, well-spoken, well-bred, Had achieved some reknown For her tone going down-- There's a nice civil tongue in her head.

A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints...
A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints in their niches stir And each morning at matin Her breast in pink satin Made the bishop of Chichester's breeches stir.

An old gentleman's crotchets and quibblings Were a terrible...
An old gentleman's crotchets and quibblings Were a terrible trial to his siblings, But he was not removed Till one day it was proved That the bell-ropes were damp with his dribblings. -- Edward Gorey

In the garden of Eden lay Adam, Complacently stroking...
In the garden of Eden lay Adam, Complacently stroking his madam And loud was his mirth For on all of the earth There were only two balls and he had'em.