Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of April, 2021

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple...
There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple and died. While her lover lamented The apple fermented And made cider inside her inside.

Ladybug, ladybug, Look to your stern! Your house is...
Ladybug, ladybug, Look to your stern! Your house is on fire, Your children will burn! So jump ye and sing, for The very first time The four lines above Have been put into rhyme. -- Walt Kelly

Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't...
Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Gee how I wish he'd go away!

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same...
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time." -- Steven Wright

A beautiful belle of Del Norte Is reckoned disdainful...
A beautiful belle of Del Norte Is reckoned disdainful and haughty Because during the day She says: "Boys, keep away!" But she fucks in the gloaming like forty.

A big-bosomed Bunny named Gression Sold cigars at a key-club...
A big-bosomed Bunny named Gression Sold cigars at a key-club concession. When she swiveled about Even strong men cried out, For her costume did not keep her flesh in.

A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads...
A charmer from old Amarillo, Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow, Decided one day That to keep men away She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.

A linguist thought it a farce That memory space was so sparse...
A linguist thought it a farce That memory space was so sparse. One day they increased it. Said he as he seized it: "At last! Enough core for the parse".

A mathematician named Hall Had a hexhedronical ball, ...
A mathematician named Hall Had a hexhedronical ball, And the square of its weight Times his pecker's, plus eight, Was four-fifths of five-eighths of fuck-all.