Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of July, 2021

A wonderful tribe are the Sweenies, Renowned for the length...
A wonderful tribe are the Sweenies, Renowned for the length of their peenies. The hair on their balls Sweeps the floors of their halls, But they don't look at women, the meanies.

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

The Poet Whose Badness Saved His Life The most...
The Poet Whose Badness Saved His Life The most important poet in the seventeenth century was George Wither. Alexander Pope called him "wretched Wither" and Dryden said of his verse that "if they rhymed and rattled all...

Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes Of hateful soreness,...
Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes Of hateful soreness, purge mine ears of corn; Less dear than army ants in apple pies Art thou, old prune-face, with thy chestnuts worn, Dropt from thy peeling lips like lousy fruit; Like honeybees upon...

Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.
Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.

For some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin...
For some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz.

Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world isn't out to get you.
Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world isn't out to get you.

Therefore it is necessary to learn how not to be good, and...
Therefore it is necessary to learn how not to be good, and to use this knowledge and not use it, according to the necessity of the cause. -- Machiavelli

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was fucking a collie -- But I got a nice price for the pups."

A lady from Old Little Rock In fidelity took little stock, ...
A lady from Old Little Rock In fidelity took little stock, And deserted her man In the streets of Japan For a boy with a prehensile cock.