Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of May, 2021

There once was a guardsman from Buckingham Who said, "As...
There once was a guardsman from Buckingham Who said, "As for girls, I hate fucking 'em. But when I meet boys, God! how I enjoys Just licking their peckers and sucking 'em."

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill...
There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's son Jack Laid her flat on her back And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a young man of Belgrade Who remarked, "I'm...
There was a young man of Belgrade Who remarked, "I'm a queer piece of trade. I will suck, without charge, Any cock, if it's large. If it's small, I expect to be paid."

ARCHDUKE FERDINAND FOUND ALIVE -- FIRST WORLD WAR A MISTAKE
ARCHDUKE FERDINAND FOUND ALIVE -- FIRST WORLD WAR A MISTAKE

Sooner or later you must pay for your sins. (Those who have...
Sooner or later you must pay for your sins. (Those who have already paid may disregard this fortune).

THE WORST BANK ROBBERY In August 1975 three men were on their...
THE WORST BANK ROBBERY In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly left...

There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them...
There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true. -- Winston Churchill

A chippy who worked in Black Bluff Had a pussy as large as...
A chippy who worked in Black Bluff Had a pussy as large as a muff. It had room for both hands And some intimate glands, And was soft as a little duck's fluff.