Freebsd Fortunes 4

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

If the standard says that [things] depend on the phase of the moon,
the programmer should be prepared to look out the window as necessary.
                -- Chris Torek

If the thunder don't get you, then the lightning will.

If the vendors started doing everything right, we would be out of a job.
Let's hear it for OSI and X!  With those babies in the wings, we can count
on being employed until we drop, or get smart and switch to gardening,
paper folding, or something.
                -- C. Philip Wood

If the very old will remember, the very young will listen.
                -- Chief Dan George

If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down.
If the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down.
If the bulletin covers are in short supply, however,
church attendance will exceed all expectations.
                -- Reverend Chichester

If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong,
the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure
can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly develop.

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing
of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur
of this life.
                -- Albert Camus

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
                -- Edward A. Murphy Jr.