Freebsd Fortunes 4

Law of Selective Gravity:
        An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Jenning's Corollary:
        The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side
        down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Law of the Perversity of Nature:
        You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

Law of the Jungle:
        He who hesitates is lunch.

Law of the Yukon:
        Only the lead dog gets a change of scenery.

Law stands mute in the midst of arms.
                -- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Lawful Dungeon Master -- and they're MY laws!

Lawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk.

Laws are like sausages.  It's better not to see them being made.
                -- Otto von Bismarck

Laws of Computer Programming:
        1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
        2. Any given program costs more and takes longer.
        3. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
        4. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
        5. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
        6. The value of a program is proportional the weight of its output.
        7. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of
                the programmer who must maintain it.

LAWSUIT:
        A machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Lawyer's Rule:
        When the law is against you, argue the facts.
        When the facts are against you, argue the law.
        When both are against you, call the other lawyer names.