|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 761 of 2327|
I WISH I HAD A KRYPTONITE CROSS, because then you could keep both Dracula
and Superman away.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 762 of 2327|
I wish there was a knob on the TV where you could turn up the
intelligence. They've got one called brightness, but it doesn't
seem to work.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 763 of 2327|
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 764 of 2327|
I wish you were a Scotch on the rocks.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 765 of 2327|
I woke up a feelin' mean
went down to play the slot machine
the wheels turned round,
and the letters read
"Better head back to Tennessee Jed"
-- Grateful Dead
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 766 of 2327|
I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment
had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I told my roommate,
"Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and
replaced with an exact replica." He said, "Do I know you?"
-- Steven Wright
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 767 of 2327|
"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I
know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must
be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people
I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles."
-- Bastian B. Bux
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 768 of 2327|
I wonder what the leash and collar set does for excitement?
-- Tramp, Lady and the Tramp
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 769 of 2327|
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me,
"If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"
-- Steven Wright
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 770 of 2327|
I would be batting the big feller if they wasn't ready with the other one,
but a left-hander would be the thing if they wouldn't have knowed it already
because there is more things involved than could come up on the road, even
after we've been home a long while.
-- Casey Stengel