Freebsd Fortunes 4

I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment
had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.  I told my roommate,
"Isn't this amazing?  Everything in the apartment has been stolen and
replaced with an exact replica."  He said, "Do I know you?"
                -- Steven Wright

"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed.  Oh, I
know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must
be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people
I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles."
                -- Bastian B. Bux

I wonder what the leash and collar set does for excitement?
                -- Tramp, Lady and the Tramp

I worked in a health food store once.  A guy came in and asked me,
"If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"
                -- Steven Wright

I would be batting the big feller if they wasn't ready with the other one,
but a left-hander would be the thing if they wouldn't have knowed it already
because there is more things involved than could come up on the road, even
after we've been home a long while.
                -- Casey Stengel

I would gladly raise my voice in praise of women,
only they won't let me raise my voice.
                -- Winkle

I would have made a good pope.
                -- Richard Nixon

I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have
gotten the hostages released.  I thank God they were satisfied with the
missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.
                -- Oliver North

I would have you imagine, then, that there exists in the mind of man a block
of wax...  and that we remember and know what is imprinted as long as the
image lasts; but when the image is effaced, or cannot be taken, then we
forget or do not know.
                -- Plato, Dialogs, Theateus 191

        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to image activation and termination.]

I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in
understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good,
our tasks will be solved.
                -- Warren G. Harding