Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday June 17, 2016

I get up each morning, gather my wits. Pick up...
I get up each morning, gather my wits. Pick up the paper, read the obits. If I'm not there I know I'm not dead. So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...