Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday November 12, 2018

LIKE: When being alive at the same time is a wonderful...
LIKE: When being alive at the same time is a wonderful coincidence.

LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
LISP: To call a spade a thpade.

Long computations which yield zero are probably all for naught.
Long computations which yield zero are probably all for naught.

An impish young fellow named James Had a passion for idiot...
An impish young fellow named James Had a passion for idiot games. He lighted the hair Of his lady's affair And laughed as she pissed through the flames.

There was a young fellow named dick Who had a magnificent...
There was a young fellow named dick Who had a magnificent prick. It was shaped like a prism And shot so much gism It made every cocksucker sick.

There was a young girl from Seattle, Whose hobby was sucking...
There was a young girl from Seattle, Whose hobby was sucking off cattle. But a bull from the South Shot a wad in her mouth That made both her ovaries rattle.

There was a young lady from Munich Who had an affair with...
There was a young lady from Munich Who had an affair with a eunuch. At the height of their passion He dealt her a ration From a squirt gun concealed in his tunic.

There was a young lady named Brent With a cunt of enormous...
There was a young lady named Brent With a cunt of enormous extent, And so deep and so wide, The acoustics inside Were so good you could hear when you spent.

There was a young lass from Surat. The cheeks of her ass were...
There was a young lass from Surat. The cheeks of her ass were so fat That they had to be parted Whenever she farted, And also whenever she shat.

There was a young man from Bengal Who claimed he had only...
There was a young man from Bengal Who claimed he had only one ball, But two little bitches Pulled down this man's breeches And proved he had nothing at all.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young man from Tibet- And this is the strangest...
There was a young man from Tibet- And this is the strangest one yet- Whose tool was so long, So pointed and strong, He could bugger six Greeks "en brochette".