Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday May 12, 2018

A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than...
A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. And I'm darned if I know how the helican.

A wood-fetish busboy named Gable Is rapid, is thorough,...
A wood-fetish busboy named Gable Is rapid, is thorough, is able; But when everything's cleared, He gives way to the weird, As he lovingly busses each table.

The limerick is furtive and mean; You must keep her in close...
The limerick is furtive and mean; You must keep her in close quarantine, Or she sneaks to the slums And promptly becomes Disorderly, drunk, and obscene. -- Morris Bishop

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, While wiping his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."