Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday October 30, 2019

Use an accordion. Go to jail. -- KFOG,...
Use an accordion. Go to jail. -- KFOG, San Francisco

There was a young lady named Gloria Who was had by Sir Gerald...
There was a young lady named Gloria Who was had by Sir Gerald Du Maurier, And then by six men, Sir Gerald again, And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.

There was a young lady named Gloria, Whose boyfriend said,...
There was a young lady named Gloria, Whose boyfriend said, "May I explore ya?" She replied to the chap, "I'll draw you a map, Of where others have been to before ya."

There was a young man from Bel-Aire Who was screwing his girl...
There was a young man from Bel-Aire Who was screwing his girl on the stair. But the banister broke So he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air.

There was a young man in Norway, Tried to jerk himself off in...
There was a young man in Norway, Tried to jerk himself off in a sleigh, But the air was so frigid It froze his cock rigid, And all he could come was frappe.

There was a young man named Laplace Whose balls were made...
There was a young man named Laplace Whose balls were made out of spun glass. When they banged together They played "Stormy Weather" And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been...
There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been born, And he wouldn't have been If his father had seen That the end of the rubber was torn.

There was a young man of Darjeeling Whose cock reached up...
There was a young man of Darjeeling Whose cock reached up to the ceiling. In the electric light socket, He'd put it and rock it-- Oh God! What a wonderful feeling!