Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday October 6, 2019

Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.
Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill...
There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's son Jack Laid her flat on her back And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

The smiling Spring comes in rejoicing, And surly Winter grimly...
The smiling Spring comes in rejoicing, And surly Winter grimly flies. Now crystal clear are the falling waters, And bonnie blue are the sunny skies. Fresh o'er the mountains breaks forth the morning, The ev'ning gilds the oceans's swell: All creatures...