Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday November 25, 2019

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The goddam thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young...
There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em. As they knelt on the hassock He lifted his cassock And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There once was a young man named Clyde Who fell in an outhouse,...
There once was a young man named Clyde Who fell in an outhouse, and died. He had a twin brother Who fell in another And now they're interred side by side.

They took some of the Van Goghs, most of the jewels, and all...
They took some of the Van Goghs, most of the jewels, and all of the Chivas!

Most people are too busy to have time for anything important.
Most people are too busy to have time for anything important.