Freebsd Fortunes 3

Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab:
        Experience is directly proportional to the amount of
        equipment ruined.

Harrison's Postulate:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Harris's Lament:
        All the good ones are taken.

Harry and Fred were playing their Sunday afternoon golf game.  The game, as
always, was close.  They were at the treacherous 12th hole: a par three that
required a perfect first shot over a large pond and onto a tiny green.  There
were sand traps on the other three sides of the green, and a small road 50
feet beyond it.  Harry went first.  He carefully addressed the ball and hit
a good shot that landed just on the edge of the green, narrowly avoiding the
pond.  Just as Fred addressed his ball, he looked up and noticed a funeral
procession along the road just behind the green.  Fred put down his club,
took his hat off, and waited for the entire procession to pass.  As soon as
the cars were gone he put his hat back on and started addressing the ball
again.  Harry said, "Damn, Fred.  That was a really nice thing you did,
waiting for the funeral to pass like that."
        Fred finished his swing, making perfect contact with the ball.  It
was an excellent shot that landed 7 feet from the hole.  "It's the least I
could do," he said, smiling at his shot, "We were married for 22 years,
you know."

Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us
all go to Assateague, which is an island on the Atlantic Ocean famous for
its wild horses.  I realize that the concept of wild horses probably stirs
romantic notions in many of you, but this is because you have never met any
wild horses in person.  In person, they are like enormous hooved rats.  They
amble up to your camp site, and their attitude is: "We're wild horses.
We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes.
We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon."
                -- Dave Barry

Harry's bar has a new cocktail.  It's called MRS punch.  They make it with
milk, rum and sugar and it's wonderful.  The milk is for vitality and the
sugar is for pep.  They put in the rum so that people will know what to do
with all that pep and vitality.

Hartley's First Law:
        You can lead a horse to water, but if you can
        get him to float on his back, you've got something.

Hartley's Second Law:
        Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

HARTLEY'S SECOND LAW:
        Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

My corollary:
        The completely psychotic have all the fun.

Harvard Law:
        Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure,
        temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the
        organism will do as it damn well pleases.