Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday April 17, 2019

There once was a man from Exameter Who had a prodigious...
There once was a man from Exameter Who had a prodigious diameter But it wasn't the size That brought forth the cries 'Twas his rythm, iambic pentameter.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor,...
There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor, "Gol dern ya, When you work on my middle Be sure you don't fiddle With things that do not concern ya."

There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in...
There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in his cave. She was ugly as shit, And missing one tit, But think of the money he saves.

There was a young harlot from Kew Who filled her vagina with...
There was a young harlot from Kew Who filled her vagina with glue. She said with a grin, "If they pay to get in, They'll pay to get out of it too."

Finagle's Eighth Law: If an experiment works, something...
Finagle's Eighth Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. Finagle's Ninth Law: No matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to fake it. Finagle's Tenth Law: No matter what the result...