Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday May 19, 2019

There was an old pirate named Bates Who was learning to rhumba...
There was an old pirate named Bates Who was learning to rhumba on skates He fell on his cutlass Which rendered him nutless And practically useless on dates.

A playful young chemist named Byrd Had an urge that could...
A playful young chemist named Byrd Had an urge that could not be deferred. So to irritate Knox He shit in his sox, And plastered the walls with his turd.

There was a young girl named Saphire Who succumbed to...
There was a young girl named Saphire Who succumbed to her lovers desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who screwed every...
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who screwed every man that she kissed with. She tickled the balls Of the men in the halls, And pulled on the prongs that they pissed with.

There was a young girl of Batonger who diddled herself with...
There was a young girl of Batonger who diddled herself with a conger, When asked how it feels To be pleasured by eels She said, "Just like a man, only longer.

There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip...
There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip by canoe. While staring at Venus, And rubbing his penis, He wound up with a handful of goo.