Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of May, 2021

There once was a young man named Clyde Who fell in an outhouse,...
There once was a young man named Clyde Who fell in an outhouse, and died. He had a twin brother Who fell in another And now they're interred side by side.

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.
Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.

THE STORY OF CREATION or ...
THE STORY OF CREATION or THE MYTH OF URK In the beginning there was data. The data was without form and null, and darkness was upon the face of the console; and the Spirit of IBM was moving over...

... with liberty and justice for all who can afford it.
... with liberty and justice for all who can afford it.

A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing...
A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly...

A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed...
A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday. An hour later, when wandered through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen. "My pup," she murmured sadly, "runneth...

A fitter fits; Though sinners sin...
A fitter fits; Though sinners sin A cutter cuts; And thinners thin And an aircraft spotter spots; And paper-blotters blot A baby-sitter I've never yet Baby-sits -- ...

A guy walks into a pub and asks: "Does anyone here own...
A guy walks into a pub and asks: "Does anyone here own a Doberman? I feel really bad about this, but my Chihuahua just killed it." A man leaps to his feet and replies, "Yes, I do, but how can that be? I raised that dog from a...