Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of April, 2021

From deep in the crypt at St. Giles Came a bellow that echoed...
From deep in the crypt at St. Giles Came a bellow that echoed for miles. Said the rector, "My gracious, Has Father Ignatius Forgotten the Bishop has piles!?"

There once was a girl from Madras Who had such a beautiful...
There once was a girl from Madras Who had such a beautiful ass - It was not round and pink ( as you bastards think ) But had two ears, a tail, and ate grass.

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man from Boston Who rode around in...
There was a young man from Boston Who rode around in an Austin. There was room for his ass And a gallon of gas, But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Slang is language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands,...
Slang is language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and goes to work.

heavy, adj: Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
heavy, adj: Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.

Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore. --...
Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore. -- Russian Proverb

A bobby of Nottingham Junction Whose organ had long ceased...
A bobby of Nottingham Junction Whose organ had long ceased to function Deceived his good wife For the rest of her life With the aid of his constable's truncheon.

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was fucking a collie -- But I got a nice price for the pups."