Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of January, 2021

"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor...
"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception." -- The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Pascal, n.: A programming language named after a...
Pascal, n.: A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

There once was a boy named Carruthers Who was busily fucking...
There once was a boy named Carruthers Who was busily fucking his mother "I know it's a sin," He said, shoving it in, "But it's better than blowing my brother."

There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is...
There once were two women from Birmingham. And this is the story concerning 'em. They lifted the frock And fondled the cock Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em.

There was a young fellow named Skinner Who took a young lady...
There was a young fellow named Skinner Who took a young lady to dinner At a quarter to nine, They sat down to dine, At twenty to ten it was in her. The dinner, not Skinner -- Skinner was in her before dinner. There was a young fellow...

You will be awarded some great honor.
You will be awarded some great honor.

A very intelligent turtle Found programming UNIX a hurdle ...
A very intelligent turtle Found programming UNIX a hurdle The system, you see, Ran as slow as did he, And that's not saying much for the turtle.

Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still...
Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still waiting for a dial tone.

Let us live!!! Let us love!!! Let us share the deepest secrets...
Let us live!!! Let us love!!! Let us share the deepest secrets of our souls!!! You first.