Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday May 7, 2021

... with liberty and justice for all who can afford it.
... with liberty and justice for all who can afford it.

A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing...
A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly...

A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed...
A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday. An hour later, when wandered through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen. "My pup," she murmured sadly, "runneth...

A guy walks into a pub and asks: "Does anyone here own...
A guy walks into a pub and asks: "Does anyone here own a Doberman? I feel really bad about this, but my Chihuahua just killed it." A man leaps to his feet and replies, "Yes, I do, but how can that be? I raised that dog from a...

OUTCONERR Twas FORTRAN as the doloop goes Did logzerneg...
OUTCONERR Twas FORTRAN as the doloop goes Did logzerneg the ifthen block All kludgy were the function flows And subroutines adhoc. Beware the runtime-bug my friend squrooneg, the false goto Beware the infiniteloop...

THE DAILY PLANET SUPERMAN SAVES DESSERT! Plans...
THE DAILY PLANET SUPERMAN SAVES DESSERT! Plans to "Eat it later"

There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing machine. Concave and convex, It served either sex, And it played with itself inbetween.

There was a young lady of fashion Who had oodles and oodles...
There was a young lady of fashion Who had oodles and oodles of passion. To her lover she said, As they climbed into bed, "Here's one thing the bastards can't ration!"