It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that...It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how
to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
-- George Burns
There once was a young man from France
Who waited ten years...There once was a young man from France
Who waited ten years for his chance;
Then he muffed it...
There was a young man from Kent
Whose tool was so long that...There was a young man from Kent
Whose tool was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming, he went.
While Titian was mixing rose madder,
His model reclined on...While Titian was mixing rose madder,
His model reclined on a ladder.
Her position to Titian
Suggested coition,
So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...
Since I hurt my pendulum
My life is all erratic.
My parrot,...Since I hurt my pendulum
My life is all erratic.
My parrot, who was cordial,
Is now transmitting static.
The carpet died, a palm collapsed,
The cat keeps doing poo.
The only thing that keeps me sane
Is talking to my shoe.
-- My Shoe
May a hundred thousand midgets invade your home singing cheezy...May a hundred thousand midgets invade your home singing cheezy lounge-lizard
versions of songs from The Wizard of Oz.
Queensboro president Donald Mannis, charged with receiving...Queensboro president Donald Mannis, charged with receiving bribes in
exchange for city contracts, resigned on Tuesday. Mannis feels he must
devote more time to impending litigation, some of which might eminate
from a recent statement he made comparing...
Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved...Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent.
-- George Orwell, "Reflections on Gandhi"
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold...The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher
esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
-- Nietzsche