Freebsd Fortunes 5

Ozman's Laws:
        (1)  If someone says he will do something "without fail," he won't.
        (2)  The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make.
        (3)  People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
        (4)  Pizza always burns the roof of your mouth.

paak, n:        A stadium or inclosed playing field. To put or leave (a
                        a vehicle) for a time in a certain location.
patato, n:      The starchy, edible tuber of a widely cultivated plant.
Septemba, n:    The 9th month of the year.
shua, n:        Having no doubt; certain.
sista, n:       A female having the same mother and father as the speaker.
tamato, n:      A fleshy, smooth-skinned reddish fruit eaten in salads
                        or as a vegetable.
troopa, n:      A state policeman.
Wista, n:       A city in central Masschewsetts.
yaad, n:        A tract of ground adjacent to a building.
                -- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary

PAIN:
        Falling out of a twenty story building,
        and snagging your eyelid on a nail.

PAIN:
        One thing, at least it proves that you're alive!

PAIN:
        Sliding down a 50-foot razor blade into a bucket of alcohol.

Pain is just God's way of hurting you.

Pandora's Rule:
        Never open a box you didn't close.

panic: can't find /

panic: kernal segmentation violation. core dumped               (only kidding)

Paprika Measure:

        2 dashes    ==  1smidgen
        2 smidgens  ==  1 pinch
        3 pinches   ==  1 soupcon
        2 soupcons  ==  too much paprika