Freebsd Fortunes 5

QOTD:
        "I may not be able to walk, but I drive from the sitting posistion."

QOTD:
        "I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

QOTD:
        I opened Pandora's box, let the cat out of the bag and put the
        ball in their court.
                -- Hon. J. Hacker (The Ministry of Administrative Affairs)

QOTD:
        "I sprinkled some baking powder over a couple of potatoes, but it
        didn't work."

QOTD:
        "I thought I saw a unicorn on the way over, but it was just a
        horse with one of the horns broken off."

QOTD:
        "I treat her like a throughbred, and she's STILL a nag!"

QOTD:
        "I tried buying a goat instead of a lawn tractor; had to return
        it though.  Couldn't figure out a way to connect the snow blower."

QOTD:
        "I used to be an idealist, but I got mugged by reality."

QOTD:
        "I used to be lost in the shuffle, now I just shuffle along with
        the lost."

QOTD:
        "I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance."