Freebsd Fortunes 5

Second Law of Business Meetings:
        If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you
        will pick the wrong one.

Corollary:
        If there is only one way to spell a name,
        you will spell it wrong, anyway.

Second Law of Final Exams:
        In your toughest final -- for the first time all year -- the most
        distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.

Secretary's Revenge:
        Filing almost everything under "the".

Security check: INTRUDER ALERT!

Sed quis custodiet ipsos Custodes?
[Who guards the Guardians?]

Seduced, shaggy Samson snored.
She scissored short.  Sorely shorn,
Soon shackled slave, Samson sighed,
Silently scheming,
Sightlessly seeking
Some savage, spectacular suicide.
                -- Stanislaw Lem

See, these two penguins walked into a bar, which was really stupid, 'cause
the second one should have seen it.

Seeing a commotion in Harvard Square, a man strolled over and asked what
was going on.  One of the onlookers explained to him that there was a Mooney
who had immersed himself in gasoline and was threatening to set fire to
himself to demonstrate his committment to the Rev. Moon.  The man gasped and
asked what was being done to defuse the obviously dangerous situation.
        "Well", replied the onlooker, "we're taking up a collection -- so
far I've got two Bics, four Zippos and eighteen books of matches."

Seeing is believing.
You wouldn't have seen it if you hadn't believed it.