Freebsd Fortunes 6

The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and
tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will
have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy... neither its pipes nor
its theories will hold water.

The soldier came knocking upon the queen's door
He said, "I am not fighting for you anymore"
The queen knew she had seen his face someplace before
And slowly she let him inside.

He said, "I see you now, and you're so very young
But I've seen more battles lost than I have battles won
And I have this intuition that it's all for your fun
And now will you tell me why?"
                -- Suzanne Vega, "The Queen and The Soldier"

The solution of problems is the most characteristic
and peculiar sort of voluntary thinking.
                -- William James

The solution of this problem is trivial
and is left as an exercise for the reader.

The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
                -- Peer

The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
his rather old and crusty parish.  As is usual in these cases, a locum was
sent to cover the transition period.  This particular man was young and
active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and
exciting.  As a consequence he was more than a little dissapointed with the
dull and tradition-bound church.  He decided to do something about it.
        For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and
vestments, but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit.  The congregation
was horrified!  He changed the order of the service.  The congregation was
horrified!  Then came the children's lesson.
        For this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table.
The congregation was mortified!  He sat there swinging his legs against
the table as the children gathered around him.
        He asked the children, "What's small, brown, furry and eats nuts?"
        There was total silence.
        He asked again, "What's small, brown, furry and eats nuts?"
        Total silence.
        Eventually, one timid youngster put up his hand and said, "Please,
sir, I know the answer is Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."

The sooner all the animals are dead, the sooner we'll find their money.
                -- Ed Bluestone, The National Lampoon

The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money.
                -- Ed Bluestone

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.