Freebsd Fortunes 6

The Worst Prison Guards
        The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a
maximum security prison is 124.  This record is held by Alcoente Prison,
near Lisbon in Portugal.
        During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 the prison
warders had noticed that attendances had fallen at film shows which
included "The Great Escape", and also that 220 knives and a huge quantity
of electric cable had disappeared.  A guard explained, "Yes, we were
planning to look for them, but never got around to it."  The warders had
not, however, noticed the gaping holes in the wall because they were
"covered with posters".  Nor did they detect any of the spades, chisels,
water hoses and electric drills amassed by the inmates in large quantities.
The night before the breakout one guard had noticed that of the 36
prisoners in his block only 13 were present.  He said this was "normal"
because inmates sometimes missed roll-call or hid, but usually came back
the next morning.
        "We only found out about the escape at 6:30 the next morning when
one of the prisoners told us," a warder said later.  [...]  When they
eventually checked, the prison guards found that exactly half of the gaol's
population was missing.  By way of explanation the Justice Minister, Dr.
Santos Pais, claimed that the escape was "normal" and part of the
"legitimate desire of the prisoner to regain his liberty."
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them,
but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity.
                -- G.B. Shaw

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they
are sober.
                -- William Butler Yeats

The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one
wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering
if something could have materialized -- and never knowing.
                -- David Viscott

The Wright Bothers weren't the first to fly.
They were just the first not to crash.

The yankees, son, are up north.
The damnyankees are down here.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of
four and eighteen.  At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all
the answers.

The young Georgia miss came to the hospital for a checkup.
        "Have you been X-rayed?" asked the doctor.
        "Nope," she said, "but ah've been ultraviolated."

The young lady had an unusual list,
Linked in part to a structural weakness.
She set no preconditions.

The young man-about-town enjoyed luxury but didn't always have the means
to buy it, and so he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel when he
found out the charges for room, meals and golf privileges were $300 a day.
He registered across the street at an equally elegant hotel, where the
rates were only $70.  The following morning he went down to the hotel's
golf course and asked Scotty, the pro, to sell him a couple of golf balls.
"Sure," said Scotty.  "That'll be $25 apiece."
        "What?" screamed the bachelor.  "In the hotel across the street
they only charge $1 a ball!"
        "Naturally," replied the pro.  "Over there they get you by the
rooms."