Freebsd Fortunes 6

Speaking of purchasing a dog, never buy a watchdog that's
on sale.  After all, everyone knows a bargain dog never bites!

Special tonight, the best toot in town at prices you won't believe!!
Also, the finest dope, brought all the way from Columbia by spirited
young adventurers.  All available tonight, as usual, in the graduate
students bullpen from 11: pm on, usual terms and conditions.
Faculty members especially welcome.

Speed upon county roads will be limited to ten miles an hour unless the
motorist sees a bailiff who does not appear to have had a drink in 30 days,
when the driver will be permitted to make what he can.
                -- Proposed legislation, Illinois State Legislature, May, 1907

Spence's Admonition:
        Never stow away on a kamikaze plane.

Spend extra time on hobby.  Get plenty of rolling papers.

SPINSTER:
        A bachelor's wife.

SPIRTLE:
        The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands
        right in your eye.
                -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends

Spock: The odds of surviving another
attack are 13562190123 to 1, Captain.

Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain.

SPOUSE:
        Someone who'll stand by you through all the
        trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.