Freebsd Fortunes 6

The higher you climb, the more you show your ass.
                -- Alexander Pope, "The Dunciad"

The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through
three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry, and
Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases.  For
instance, the first phase is characterized by the question "How can we
eat?" the second by "Why do we eat?" and the third by "Where shall we
have lunch?".
                -- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The history of warfare is similarly subdivided, although here the phases
are Retribution, Anticipation, and Diplomacy.  Thus:

Retribution:
        I'm going to kill you because you killed my brother.
Anticipation:
        I'm going to kill you because I killed your brother.
Diplomacy:
        I'm going to kill my brother and then kill you on the
        pretext that your brother did it.

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
                -- Johnny Carson

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease
to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.
                -- Helen Rowland

The honeymoon is over when he phones to say he'll be late for supper and
she's already left a note that it's in the refrigerator.
                -- Bill Lawrence

The horror... the horror!

The human animal differs from the lesser
primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".
                -- H. Allen Smith

The human brain is a wonderful thing.  It starts working the moment
you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
                -- Sir George Jessel

The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of
its capacity -- the rest is overhead for the operating system.